I found out I was pregnant and days later, Trent’s sister, Tessa, then found out she was pregnant with her second baby.

I grew up really close to my cousins, so that is always what I have wanted for my kids one day too. I instantly knew that our baby’s would be best friends growing up. Regardless of their gender, they’d have each other backs. They would attend rival schools, so they’d have a healthy amount of shit talking back and forth, but it would all be out of love. Tessa and I would get to be the pregnant ladies at all of the family events together, laughing at all of the behavior induced by alcohol.

Our due dates were 10 days apart, in March of 2023. We had so many thoughts on birthday trips our kids would take together. Hopefully they would love basketball and Dad/Uncle Trent would take them to the March Madness tournament for their birthdays. Maybe it would even be a yearly tradition. As they got older, they would have had their birthday’s during Spring Break. Lord knows how out of hand that could have gotten!

After Trent and I lost our baby, we made it clear to Tessa that we still wanted to know all the updates on her pregnancy and didn’t want her to keep anything from us, in fear of hurting our feelings. So when we got the call that Tessa lost her baby at her 20 week ultrasound, my heart sank.

She is my sister, I never want her to hurt. But to also know a similar pain myself, made me so very sad for her. A pain that is so aching in your heart. A pain you don’t wish on anyone. A pain that was now hers, too. The world is so weird. My faith in God makes it more bearable, but it is still a strange and painful world. Our baby’s were going to be best friends. I guess they couldn’t stand to be apart, so they went to be angels of God.

Selfishly, this was an event that of course, made me replay my loss. Thinking about Tessa in the doctors office when the doctor shared the devastating news, broke my heart for her, as I replayed the same conversation I had with my doctor, while staring at the screen at my baby. I still don’t know why, and I never will. All I know is our family now has two angels in heaven. Our pregnancy brought us closer together, and our loss will too.

-Kenz